Gary Direnfield offers some excellent counsel here. It is easier to give this advice than to follow it, but you and your adult child will benefit.
Originally posted on Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW:
I commonly see parents of young adults in university/college where the student is throwing away their education, putting more time towards partying and recovery than studying and earning grades. Common to these situations are often backgrounds of privilege with the parents carrying the tab – both for the bar and the books. What’s a parent to do?
While the parents are focused on their son or daughter, I am focused on the parents. I find that in these situations, the parent has set a goal of happiness for their child. They want their child to be happy.
This is not an unreasonable goal, but unfortunately, the strategies aimed at achieving it are often misguided.
In an effort to facilitate their child’s happiness, these parents have been apt to pave the road ahead of each step the child takes throughout life; are too forgiving of transgressions without requiring accountability and restitution…
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